Reviewed by Mark Corcoran-Lettice
Look, I don’t like playing the scrooge. Despite all the tack and the tastelessness of it all, I’m still a sucker when I hear A Christmas Gift For You All burst into life over the speakers, or when the tree gets puts up and decorated.
This, however, is just bollocks. Their press release claims influences from the likes of The Smiths and The Magnetic Fields, but this just sounds like a Salvation Army choir fallen upon bad times. Built upon a slightly sea-sick rhythm, the track’s built out with one of the most horribly cheap organ sounds every conjured by a charity-shop synth, some blaringly bad horns and, acting as the arse-scented cherry atop this shit-encrusted tart, lead singer Ben Tucker’s painfully out-of-tune vocals.
And the worst part of this? ‘I Love Everyone’ isn’t even a new effort: it’s a re-release of a song they first put out two sodding years ago (and, quite honestly, it’s not hard to comprehend how it flopped the first time). So don’t give them any false hope by buying this, because otherwise they’re going to re-release it again in 2011, when some other poor sod at NSR is going to have to listen and review the damn thing. There’s going to be plenty of crappy releases for them to plough through without you adding to the pile.
0/5
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